So I went back and read my blog about Moving On, and I feel like such a hypocrite. But moving on is very hard; It's not easy to just dissolve your feelings for someone. I mean, it can be, but why is it different every time you need to move on? I don't understand why it can't always be the same, but I guess it's because every person you meet in life will mean something different to you. I've never felt this bad before, but I bet I have. I know I have, I just can't help but think it. I just like to be happy and it's hard to be happy when you're on your own. But it's time for a fresh start.
"Letting go isn't about giving up. It's about accepting that there are things that cannot be."
~ Unknown
Which is so true. But I should really focus on making new friends, and my studies. I hate being freshman. I feel like I'm reliving freshman year of high school all over again.
Music is my new boyfriend. I love him. He makes me feel good, and he makes me feel bad. He has everything that a boyfriend should have; poise, charm, emotion. I've needed a good dose of music. That's what has been missing in my life.
It is cruel, you know, that music should be so beautiful. It has the beauty of loneliness of pain: of strength and freedom. The beauty of disappointment and never-satisfied love. The cruel beauty of nature and everlasting beauty of monotony.
Benjamin Britten
There's nothing I want more in my life right now then to be in front of a choir. Not just any choir, my own choir. I want to direct so badly. I need to do it. I want to enrich the lives of young adults with music and the skills they need to read and analyze music. I need to be doing that with my life. I need to be teaching. Teaching music is my passion. I'm not sure if I can make it to grad school. I will most likely just graduate and go straight into teaching. I just want to be successful.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment