Today's blog post is about change.
Change. That word has been morphed since Barack Obama used it as his campaign slogan. It's hard for me to look at that word and not cringe, even though I'm not thinking of the word politically.
What is so hard about change? Is it the part of letting go whatever needs to be let go? Is it starting over again? What makes change so damn scary? I figure it's because people are just comfortable with what they have in life, even if it's mediocre. It's hard to start over again, to change your life. That's what I've been experiencing; change. And lots of it. And it is not easy; especially when you've changed so much for yourself and for someone else.
College isn't easy. Making new friends isn't easy. It's hard to come to a new place and open yourself up; especially if you've grown up in the same place your entire life. I'm not good with change, but I've come to accept how hard it is. I don't know where I'm going with this post, but here are some quotes for you.
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
-Anatole France
Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.
-Arnold Bennett
He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils; for time is the greatest innovator.
-Francis Bacon
If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.
-Gail Sheehy
If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change.
-John A. Simone, Sr.
Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
-Irene Peter
Friday, October 29, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Seven is Lucky
Pfft, yeah seven is lucky my ass. I had the craziest summer and the craziest beginning of college.
I worked all summer at Kemah in retail; I loved it so much. I can't wait to go back, even for a day. I miss my co-workers a lot. In fact, I can't wait to go back to LC in general; I miss everyone so much.
So, I've decided that I will try to post at least once a week, and have a topic of discussion for each week. I will reveal our topic in a few moments. I just want to get you caught up with my life.
Life here is...okay at SHSU. I can't help but be reminded each and every day how much I miss LC, Caleb, my friends, and Creek Choir. I can't help but realize how much choir used to be my life. But on the bright side, I'm sort of meeting people and making friends. Too bad things are kind of already heading down south. It's sad to see that just because people graduated doesn't mean they graduated out of their high school petty attitudes. I try hard to keep my head high, but it's so hard when my emotions are so out of wack and out of sync. Other than socially, grade wise I'm doing well, I'm just extremely overwhelmed. It's so hard to focus when I'm kind of depressed. I'm not going to delve into that though. I'm writing this blog to get over those thoughts because writing always has seemed to work so exceptionally well for me. I love being a music education major; I'm in heaven with theory and musicianship and everyone (well not everyone) being so infatuated with music. It's heaven. God...why can't I get this sick feeling out of my stomach like something terrible has gone wrong? Rachel, do not cave. You can not give power to anyone. You are in control.
Sorry, I had to say that. I can't explain what it means but when I read back on it I will know what it means.
Anyway, today (or this week's topic of discussion) is: Moving On
Whether it be about moving on from a friendship, a job, or a relationship. I feel like moving on is the hardest thing to do, yet it could be so simple. Why put yourself through so much pain and suffering? Why not want yourself to be happy? Why not just cut the things out of your life that make you unhappy? Wouldn't life be much simpler that way? But it's not that easy right? There are all these complicated emotions that get in the way like pride, love, and fear of loss. Sometimes your brain has a hard time comprehending that you would be better off without a certain thing or person. People are afraid to move on because they're afraid to screw up. But that's what life is. It's one huge screw up, and you'll only continue to make bad choices in your life. It can't be avoided. I looked up a few quotes in preparation for my blog post. Here they are.
“Why do people persist in a dissatisfying relationship, unwilling either to work toward solutions or end it and move on? It's because they know changing will lead to the unknown, and most people believe that the unknown will be much more painful than what they're already experiencing.” -Anthony Robbins
“Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.” -Les Brown
“People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.”-Bill Cosby
"Letting go has never been easy, but holding on can be as difficult. Yet strength is measured not by holding on, but by letting go."
~ Len Santos
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward."
~ Unknown
"I chose and my world was shaken. So what? The choice may have been mistaken; the choosing was not. You have to move on."
~ Stephen Sondheim
"Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror"
~ Byrd Baggett
My favorite one is by Anthony Robbins. I find that quotes always make me feel better and put things into perspective. I really can't say much more about the subject. I've really laid it out on the table as it is.
I worked all summer at Kemah in retail; I loved it so much. I can't wait to go back, even for a day. I miss my co-workers a lot. In fact, I can't wait to go back to LC in general; I miss everyone so much.
So, I've decided that I will try to post at least once a week, and have a topic of discussion for each week. I will reveal our topic in a few moments. I just want to get you caught up with my life.
Life here is...okay at SHSU. I can't help but be reminded each and every day how much I miss LC, Caleb, my friends, and Creek Choir. I can't help but realize how much choir used to be my life. But on the bright side, I'm sort of meeting people and making friends. Too bad things are kind of already heading down south. It's sad to see that just because people graduated doesn't mean they graduated out of their high school petty attitudes. I try hard to keep my head high, but it's so hard when my emotions are so out of wack and out of sync. Other than socially, grade wise I'm doing well, I'm just extremely overwhelmed. It's so hard to focus when I'm kind of depressed. I'm not going to delve into that though. I'm writing this blog to get over those thoughts because writing always has seemed to work so exceptionally well for me. I love being a music education major; I'm in heaven with theory and musicianship and everyone (well not everyone) being so infatuated with music. It's heaven. God...why can't I get this sick feeling out of my stomach like something terrible has gone wrong? Rachel, do not cave. You can not give power to anyone. You are in control.
Sorry, I had to say that. I can't explain what it means but when I read back on it I will know what it means.
Anyway, today (or this week's topic of discussion) is: Moving On
Whether it be about moving on from a friendship, a job, or a relationship. I feel like moving on is the hardest thing to do, yet it could be so simple. Why put yourself through so much pain and suffering? Why not want yourself to be happy? Why not just cut the things out of your life that make you unhappy? Wouldn't life be much simpler that way? But it's not that easy right? There are all these complicated emotions that get in the way like pride, love, and fear of loss. Sometimes your brain has a hard time comprehending that you would be better off without a certain thing or person. People are afraid to move on because they're afraid to screw up. But that's what life is. It's one huge screw up, and you'll only continue to make bad choices in your life. It can't be avoided. I looked up a few quotes in preparation for my blog post. Here they are.
“Why do people persist in a dissatisfying relationship, unwilling either to work toward solutions or end it and move on? It's because they know changing will lead to the unknown, and most people believe that the unknown will be much more painful than what they're already experiencing.” -Anthony Robbins
“Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.” -Les Brown
“People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.”-Bill Cosby
"Letting go has never been easy, but holding on can be as difficult. Yet strength is measured not by holding on, but by letting go."
~ Len Santos
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward."
~ Unknown
"I chose and my world was shaken. So what? The choice may have been mistaken; the choosing was not. You have to move on."
~ Stephen Sondheim
"Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror"
~ Byrd Baggett
My favorite one is by Anthony Robbins. I find that quotes always make me feel better and put things into perspective. I really can't say much more about the subject. I've really laid it out on the table as it is.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Post 6
So here I am after weeks of not posting a blog. And it's 1:08 in the morning on Wed. Jun 16, 2010. So much has happened! But I won't go through everything that's happened thus far since my last post on Fri. May 28th.
I graduated on June 5, 2010 @ 9:30 AM. It was pretty awesome. Long and hot. And the speeches were pretty good. I only teared up a little bit during the Salutatorian's speech. I will miss High School. I will miss all of my friends. I'm glad to be starting a new chapter in my life. Thank you Clear Creek High School for all the lessons you've taught me and for all the great experiences. I will miss it deeply.
My grad party went pretty well. Carlee, Caleb, Chelsea, Austin, Kayla, Andrew J., Andrew C. and Jordan all showed up. It was a lot of fun. And project grad was pretty cool. The hypnotist show was...beyond amazing. I won a door prize. A free car wash and a starbucks gift card. Caleb was sick all night. Poor baby. He got me sick though. D:
I've been hanging out with good friends a lot. Carlee. Rebecca. Josh. Andrew J. Jordan. Chase. I love them. :)
I have been sick for a total of 9 days now. Thank you Caleb. You owe me big time. In 15 days it will be Caleb' and I's one year. I can not wait for that day. We will have tons of fun. :)
I got a job at Kemah again, but instead of in rides, it's in retail. I keep thinking about switching over. Then I remember how hot it was, and how different it will be without the old KBG. :( I miss you Kemah Boardwalk Gang. You were awesome. I feel bad that everyone got fired....
I graduated on June 5, 2010 @ 9:30 AM. It was pretty awesome. Long and hot. And the speeches were pretty good. I only teared up a little bit during the Salutatorian's speech. I will miss High School. I will miss all of my friends. I'm glad to be starting a new chapter in my life. Thank you Clear Creek High School for all the lessons you've taught me and for all the great experiences. I will miss it deeply.
My grad party went pretty well. Carlee, Caleb, Chelsea, Austin, Kayla, Andrew J., Andrew C. and Jordan all showed up. It was a lot of fun. And project grad was pretty cool. The hypnotist show was...beyond amazing. I won a door prize. A free car wash and a starbucks gift card. Caleb was sick all night. Poor baby. He got me sick though. D:
I've been hanging out with good friends a lot. Carlee. Rebecca. Josh. Andrew J. Jordan. Chase. I love them. :)
I have been sick for a total of 9 days now. Thank you Caleb. You owe me big time. In 15 days it will be Caleb' and I's one year. I can not wait for that day. We will have tons of fun. :)
I got a job at Kemah again, but instead of in rides, it's in retail. I keep thinking about switching over. Then I remember how hot it was, and how different it will be without the old KBG. :( I miss you Kemah Boardwalk Gang. You were awesome. I feel bad that everyone got fired....
Friday, May 28, 2010
Cinque
It has been a long and painful week--it was the last week as an official high school student. I will no longer be enrolled at Clear Creek after June 5, 2010. So ready for graduation. (P.S. Today is May 28th, 2010)
Tuesday, I missed Glee because I was over at Jordan's house. We ended up going to blockbuster after school and renting Capitalism: A Love Story, The Fourth Kind, The Shining, and...I can't remember what other movie but it was another horror movie. We've been kind of in a horror movie mood, so we've been watching all sorts of suspenseful stuff lately, like Paranormal Activity. The Fourth Kind was the worst movie I've ever seen. Don't bother renting it. It was a waste of time and money.
Wednesday didn't even feel like a school day because I went to Ms. Wright's funeral to sing 'The Lord Bless You and Keep You.' with choir. I forgot my funeral clothes that day because of all the crap going on in my life. Ugh. How stupid of me. So, mom had to bring me my clothes. The funeral was pretty sad; I still can't believe she passed away. She was too young. RIP Charlene Louise Wright. Always know that you were part of what inspired me to continue music on into High school and on into college. I can not tell you how grateful I am for all the lessons you taught me. After the funeral, I went to Jordan's so he could run me through sound cues. We did fine when we rehearsed the sound cues in the auditorium later, but our for our performance, they decided they didn't want to work. Caleb came and saw our scene; I'm glad I got to see him. Things didn't go so well at scene showcase. There was a lot of tension that night. I left right after striking our set from our scene and Caleb took me to Orient Cafe and we had some General Tsos. It was very yummy. I still didn't get to watch Glee.
Thursday, aka yesterday, was...dramatic during school. Jordan didn't show up. I went to his house during lunch and things weren't great. Then we had rehearsal during 7th period for the Drama Prom a Rama ceremony. I convinced Jordan later on to come with me, but he won't be taking part in the ceremony with us because he missed the rehearsal. After that I went to Carlee's and swam. I had a great time with Rebecca, Carlee, Andrew, and Josh. Those are some amazing friends. I didn't get home till 10:15 though so I had to take a shower this morning. I was way too tired to even thinking about having to spend another hour awake.
That's pretty much how my week went. I think I might just do weekly posts, or posts on Sundays or something.
Tuesday, I missed Glee because I was over at Jordan's house. We ended up going to blockbuster after school and renting Capitalism: A Love Story, The Fourth Kind, The Shining, and...I can't remember what other movie but it was another horror movie. We've been kind of in a horror movie mood, so we've been watching all sorts of suspenseful stuff lately, like Paranormal Activity. The Fourth Kind was the worst movie I've ever seen. Don't bother renting it. It was a waste of time and money.
Wednesday didn't even feel like a school day because I went to Ms. Wright's funeral to sing 'The Lord Bless You and Keep You.' with choir. I forgot my funeral clothes that day because of all the crap going on in my life. Ugh. How stupid of me. So, mom had to bring me my clothes. The funeral was pretty sad; I still can't believe she passed away. She was too young. RIP Charlene Louise Wright. Always know that you were part of what inspired me to continue music on into High school and on into college. I can not tell you how grateful I am for all the lessons you taught me. After the funeral, I went to Jordan's so he could run me through sound cues. We did fine when we rehearsed the sound cues in the auditorium later, but our for our performance, they decided they didn't want to work. Caleb came and saw our scene; I'm glad I got to see him. Things didn't go so well at scene showcase. There was a lot of tension that night. I left right after striking our set from our scene and Caleb took me to Orient Cafe and we had some General Tsos. It was very yummy. I still didn't get to watch Glee.
Thursday, aka yesterday, was...dramatic during school. Jordan didn't show up. I went to his house during lunch and things weren't great. Then we had rehearsal during 7th period for the Drama Prom a Rama ceremony. I convinced Jordan later on to come with me, but he won't be taking part in the ceremony with us because he missed the rehearsal. After that I went to Carlee's and swam. I had a great time with Rebecca, Carlee, Andrew, and Josh. Those are some amazing friends. I didn't get home till 10:15 though so I had to take a shower this morning. I was way too tired to even thinking about having to spend another hour awake.
That's pretty much how my week went. I think I might just do weekly posts, or posts on Sundays or something.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Cuatro!
Today was a very interesting day.
...not.
Today was very boring. I have 300 pages left to read of The Fountainhead. It needs to get finished before this week. School is such a waste of my time. I can't stand it. There is no point to it anymore. I guess thats the time I should use to finish The Fountainhead. But...everyone is always so busy talking and I'm so ADHD it's so hard to concentrate. :( Went to Jordan's today, and ate a cupcake he got me and then later on we had strawberries. We stained the deck. Oops. Sorry Jordan. Didn't mean for you to have to do some mexican work today. Haha.
My old choir director, Charlene Wright, passed away on May 23rd, at 7:15 am. I will miss her dearly. So will all of her students. A moment of silence for her when you read this please.
...
Banquet went pretty well last night. I didn't cry but that's because I'm so ready to move on with my life.
My thoughts are too jumbled for me to talk about anything else.
Blogging tomorrow. :) Bye
...not.
Today was very boring. I have 300 pages left to read of The Fountainhead. It needs to get finished before this week. School is such a waste of my time. I can't stand it. There is no point to it anymore. I guess thats the time I should use to finish The Fountainhead. But...everyone is always so busy talking and I'm so ADHD it's so hard to concentrate. :( Went to Jordan's today, and ate a cupcake he got me and then later on we had strawberries. We stained the deck. Oops. Sorry Jordan. Didn't mean for you to have to do some mexican work today. Haha.
My old choir director, Charlene Wright, passed away on May 23rd, at 7:15 am. I will miss her dearly. So will all of her students. A moment of silence for her when you read this please.
...
Banquet went pretty well last night. I didn't cry but that's because I'm so ready to move on with my life.
My thoughts are too jumbled for me to talk about anything else.
Blogging tomorrow. :) Bye
Friday, May 21, 2010
3 is a magic number
Good morning all who are reading my blog. It might not be morning when you read this, but it is morning now when I am writing it. It is May 23, 2010, 9:56 AM. I am extremely tired.
It has been a long weekend. Friday was a very long day for some reason. It wasn't a very good day, but it was a nice evening. I got to see Caleb and we watched an episode of Dexter. I love Dexter! It's so great. After Dexter we went to the Creek Vs. Lake Improv battle, where my best friend Jordan Fowler was the most amazing improviser on the troupe! Creek totally stomped Lake. Our 5 minute movie was amazing while theirs was...um...to put it bluntly...TERRIBLE. I think our 5 minute movie won the show. It was crazy.
Yesterday, I woke up around 9 AM and I got ready to go to Hobby Lobby with Jordan. We had a ton of fun just driving around and talking. We got his mask from HL, and then we went to Michaels and bought the mirrors for his mask. I need to get to work on that so it's done by Friday. Then we went to Hot Wok and ate Vietnamese Egg Rolls. Yumm. We drove back up to the mall where we tried to find a tie to match my dress for Drama Prom A Rama, but we decided to go back another day when I had my dress so he could find a proper matching tie. Then we headed back over to his house for a little while and watched YouTube videos because his cable box was being retarded. I had to head home after a little while to go to the dollar store and grab some stuff for choir banquet, which is today! Wow! I can't believe I'm almost done with high school for forever! Then I headed back to Creek to watch the mini-troupe with Jordan, and then I watched Jordan's last improv show ever! :( The entrance they made was so cool! :) Props to Gino for that idea. After the show
I've got a lot of things to do today, but first, I'm heading over to Jordan's at 11 to go finish the rest of Paranormal and eat some breakfast!
I'll get to blogging about it later~
Bye!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Entry Number 2
Today has been a very stressful day. I woke up with a ridiculous headache, and I'm pretty sure it's from wearing that headset all day yesterday for Children's Theatre. I took Mac Attack (My apple laptop) to school today to play The Sims 3 on when I didn't have anything to do (which is pretty much all day), but I realized I left the CD at home on the floor in it's case. Lovely. So I pretty much did nothing today. It was a very stressful day anyway though, but some of that weight was lifted off my shoulders after choir because I found out that they weren't going to have a second chamber choir. I'm glad Mr. P is keeping the Chamber Singers an elite group.
We cleaned up in Children's Theatre today, which was nice, because now we don't have to worry about props getting lost or broken. I was able to fish a clock and table out of our set and props for scene showcase, which is next week Wednesday. Hoo boy. We've only worked with the set once. I hope we do well. Lydia and Peaches are coming along so well. I love it, and I love my co-director (the artistic director), Jordan Fowler. He's very good at directing. I like being tech director. I like doing technical things.
Jordan and I went to McDonalds today for lunch. Yum. It's been a while since I've had a burger from McDonalds, but I feel fat for eating it. I've been bad and I've been drinking a lot of soda. I need to start drinking more water.
After school today, I came home and started working on my Drama Prom a Rama mask. It looks so good! Here is a picture of it.
I also had voice lessons today with Mrs. T, and we finally have my college music copied and down on a CD! Time to start learning.
I'm going to go to improv show tonight and tomorrow. Tomorrow is the battle and I'm sure I'm going to go with Caleb.
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